Eye Contact

Beaner’s is a terrible name for a coffee shop. But the coffee was better when East Lansing’s Bigby was Beaner’s; drinking tall, clear glasses with abnormally easy-to-break edges. Every night in 1995 you could hear some minimum wage college rockstar drop one in the kitchen like a car drives by: not even a flitter among the crowd. Just tinkle tinkle and somewhere far off a guy kind of quiety-yells “your hair still looks great man don’t sweat it”. No one laughs. I blow smoke in his direction and wink. I do that. Just suck it like I’m trying to pull Jesus out of hell and then light the next one. The joke was off - the guy that yelled. I didn’t laugh out loud but I did inside.

But the coffee glasses were thin and it took a long time to drink the coffee because the heat burnt my lip and it took forever to cool down. So when I remember that first Beaner’s now Bigby on W. Grand River Ave., down from Crunchy’s where I sang Come Sail Away by Styx out loud, it burns my tongue and makes me think of burnt bagels. But the coffee was this perfect brown which is my favorite color. It’s closest to the earth, under the green like the smell of digging that fresh clod of dirt with the grass roots and worms sticking out. It understands. So that’s where I study and that’s why it’s better than Bigby. I didn’t even fucking know Beaner’s was a bad name. I literally remember Jodi telling me they were changing the name and I said, “Why?” She explained - it’s a slur for Mexicans or something. I was like "oh shit yeah change it seems like marketing would have caught that". Glad I don’t work in marketing.

Anthropology was a cool ass class, and it always made me think of the color brown. So it made sense to study for Anthropology at Beaner’s now Bigby. I did this extra credit assignment because I just really like the class. I didn’t even fucking care about grades: except this one time, I took a Sociology 450something level class, and I was vibing with this class the entire time. It framed so much of how I think - capitalism will always alienate us from our creativity by requiring value creation to participate and ascend in society - I was really devastated. I thought people wanted to work together. It has greatly informed the deal that I made with myself to play the game as long as I allow myself the occasional, situational anarchy and full awareness that I will disappear upon my choosing.

I like nice things too. No sense in resisting progress it will just run over you. I believe in guerilla warfare though. No one wins. No humin. No nothing. We can’t be trusted. Just make sure your anarchy is situated on the right leg of the stool. They’ll rebuild it after a few years after it falls. It gives us some time to re-organize after we go to the beach. I need the fucking beach. That’s what I learned and so I write this paper and I’m agonizing about the grade because I was such a dork and needed that white beard to love me and I was so disappointed that he came back and told me I got a 1.7. “Like on a 4.0 scale?” I’ve never seen him get flustered. It made me flustered. He’s taller than me. “Well, yes, those numbers don’t really mean anything.” I paused. I was a good student of nonsense. “Numbers don’t mean anything?” I said in a Michigan uptalk but feeling like I was rolling out the Socratic method. “Well, yes (he really did say that before each sentence I know it’s unbelievable), what does that mean to you?” I say touche’. Not outloud but definitely in my heart. I easily gave up asking, got a 3.0 in the class - which simultaneously means something and nothing I suppose - and I remain confused to this day what in the fuck that dude was talking about. But otherwise I don’t care about grades. Just that one time for some reason. And I’m at Beaner’s now Bigby blowing on that lovely brown coffee watching this couple. Big country (my name for big white dudes) would lead the conversation, first eyes down right and then head up turning left, his eyes remind me of the Michelin Man’s. They graze her eyes. I remember her wearing a headband and a purple leotard. I think this is mistaken though. More likely something else. But he doesn’t even really look at her eyes. He maybe even looks just at her eyebrows and as he pauses like he’s proud of his hard-on and he looks up left and really takes it in. Like he’s going create a new nation with his next words. “Talker: Down right to Up left. Eye Contact: 20%. Listener: Direct, intense eye contact 80% of the time.” I don’t recall what he said.

I felt so damn cool. Drinking this awesome brown coffee in Beaner’s doing anthropology shit. Spy shit. Everyone looks away when they talk. I was so relieved. Growing up I always tried to stare at people when I spoke. I gotta look at her when I talk because I gotta be suave as shit. But I couldn’t talk when I looked at her. She was cute but I was more nervous because everyone just thought she was awesome (and cute, I’m not taking away from that) and I wanted to win the battle of coolness and frankly I did - but when I looked at her I couldn’t talk. But I was cool enough and that helped me feel typical. The last we spoke I told her that I thought our trip to Cedar Point was in 1989 but I couldn’t remember.

Drinking coffee and thinking is how I became a King (The Matrix explains to use what the problem is)

The American college experience has traditionally been seen as a key step for many young adults, a time for learning and growing. However, many believe the college system is falling short, leaving students unprepared for the challenges they will face in the real world. This post explores this issue through the misapplication of anthropological knowledge by a college student, revealing the gap between academic learning and practical understanding.

The Allure of Academia

In college, students find themselves in an environment that encourages critical thinking and the exploration of diverse subjects. However, this immersive academic setting can sometimes detach students from real-world challenges.

Consider Mark, a junior majoring in anthropology. Driven by his interest in human behavior, Mark pored over textbooks, attended every lecture, and eagerly participated in discussions. He felt confident in his grasp of how society operates.

Yet, therein lay a problem. Mark became so engrossed in theoretical anthropology that he overlooked its real-life applications. He often disregarded everyday realities, advocating for changes based on lofty ideas rather than practical solutions.

The Misapplication of Anthropology

Mark's disconnect from practical application became evident during a group project. His team was asked to address a pressing local issue, and Mark suggested conducting an extensive anthropological study on the neighborhood's culture. His passion was clear, but his approach was too abstract and failed to address the community's immediate needs.

Mark planned to conduct detailed interviews with residents about their cultural practices. However, he ignored pressing issues such as the lack of resources and economic opportunities faced by these residents. Ironically, while studying humins, he struggled to connect with them as fellow human beings.

In contrast, his peers suggested building a community garden to provide fresh produce to local families. Mark's steadfast dedication to an academic framework resulted in a project that lacked relevance to the community's actual needs.

Missing the Forest for the Trees

This situation illustrates a common issue in the American college experience: an excessive focus on theory at the expense of practicality. Mark was preoccupied with achieving academic perfection, which caused him to neglect the real-world implications of his studies. He lost sight of the bigger picture, prioritizing abstract cultural discussions over actionable steps.

Throughout class conversations, when faced with criticism, Mark often countered with academic jargon and theories. This insistence on theoretical discourse further alienated him from his peers, who sought to engage with practical solutions.

Many students fall into a similar trap, getting caught in a cycle of purely academic exploration. This tunnel vision not only limits their adaptability but also hinders their ability to apply what they’ve learned in meaningful ways.

Learning Beyond the Classroom

True learning for American college students often happens outside the classroom. In Mark's case, his disconnection from the community hindered his ability to fully appreciate the lessons anthropology had to offer.

To bridge this gap, students should actively seek internships, volunteer work, or community projects that allow them to apply their academic knowledge in real-world contexts. By interacting directly with people and communities, they can enrich their educational experience and gain a deeper understanding of subjects like anthropology.

As the semester unfolded, Mark missed several opportunities to engage with the local community. He skipped events like community meetings and cultural fairs that could have helped him apply his lessons. Instead of evolving as a holistic anthropologist, he became ensnared in the stereotype of the isolated student—an attitude that ultimately stunted his personal and academic growth.

A Shift in Perspective

The pivotal moment for Mark came when a sympathetic professor encouraged him to reflect on his approach. Their discussion focused on the importance of empathy and genuine engagement in anthropology. This conversation helped Mark realize that connecting with people was just as essential as studying them.

With this newfound understanding, Mark began to participate in local events, interviewing residents not just as subjects but as engaged community members. He started uncovering their real needs and aspirations, leading to a more meaningful application of his knowledge.

Embracing Failure and Learning

Experiences like Mark's, including both his failures and successes, provide valuable insights. His journey underscores the importance of combining theoretical knowledge with real-world engagement. By acknowledging his mistakes, he learned to be resilient and adaptable.

Critically examining one’s intentions and actions is essential for students. Reflecting on their missteps fosters a deeper sense of empathy and connection, effectively bridging the gap that often exists between academic learning and practical application. As Mark shifted his perspective, he cultivated a collaborative spirit with his peers—an aspect that had previously been absent.

The Bigger Picture

Mark's story highlights a larger issue within the American college system. Students often become so focused on academic achievement that they overlook the significance of human connection and societal impact. This disconnect can lead to a generation of graduates who possess knowledge but lack the skills needed to apply that knowledge effectively.

To address this problem, educators and institutions must create environments that encourage the blending of academic learning and community involvement. Programs designed to face this challenge can empower graduates to tackle complex issues with a mix of theoretical insight and practical solutions.

Key Insights

Ultimately, Mark’s journey illustrates an important lesson: knowledge truly comes to life when paired with action. The crux of anthropology—or any discipline—lies in understanding the human experience and using that insight to enhance communities.

In a world full of social challenges, it is essential to learn, engage, and innovate. While the American college experience has its flaws, it can transform individuals if they allow their insights to guide meaningful actions.

As we step into the world, it is vital to grow from our experiences and apply our knowledge with empathy and understanding. After all, a simple cup of coffee and thoughtful pondering is just the beginning; the real journey starts when we engage with the world around us, ready to learn and evolve.